In the news recently there has been a story about an NBA player suing his former fiancé for the return of an 800 thousand dollar engagement ring. This situation brings up the long time debate as to whether a ring should be returned to the giver or kept as a gift when a couple splits up before the wedding happens.
The most commonly accepted resolve to this on-going argument depends entirely upon who breaks up with whom. If “she” calls off the nuptials, it is believed by most that the “runaway” bride should give up the goods. On the other hand, if “he” gets cold feet, the rock belongs to her. That seems simple enough...but, when it's an especially beautiful or highly valuable ring, most women become instantly attached and would rather cut off the finger that bares the ring than give up the bauble.
One rule of thumb (still attached), that I stand behind steadfastly, is the return of a family heirloom engagement ring. While etiquette regulating other situations might be somewhat negotiable, good taste dictates the return of family heirloom jewelry to the rightful owner – the family – regardless of which party initiates the “breaking-up”.
The most commonly accepted resolve to this on-going argument depends entirely upon who breaks up with whom. If “she” calls off the nuptials, it is believed by most that the “runaway” bride should give up the goods. On the other hand, if “he” gets cold feet, the rock belongs to her. That seems simple enough...but, when it's an especially beautiful or highly valuable ring, most women become instantly attached and would rather cut off the finger that bares the ring than give up the bauble.
One rule of thumb (still attached), that I stand behind steadfastly, is the return of a family heirloom engagement ring. While etiquette regulating other situations might be somewhat negotiable, good taste dictates the return of family heirloom jewelry to the rightful owner – the family – regardless of which party initiates the “breaking-up”.